Thus Spaketh Idd Salim

One API to rule them all

Code-Named Gandalf

Symbiotic Developer Labs will soon chip in its 2 bytes in the coding social social responsibility. Safaricom/Zain has NOT released or shown any signs of being in willingness or position to release any developer tools to enable the 17 real coding geniuses in Kenya, the thousand of wannabes and the tens of thousands of VB programmers monetize ANY of their systems.

Understandably, they are here to make money on voice and data. They don’t care about your pesky little ideas. Unless they are called ‘Mpesa’ and not yet patented. Ahem!

Currently, the only way to automate Mpesa/Zap is to use a Modem with the Mpesa SIM card then do some satanic message parsing. No more!!

As the head of the coding department in SMC, I have taken this personally and, unless the finger of god or the eye of the nebula intervenes, we will be releasing a PUBLIC API for Mpesa/Zap paybill.

The API will be available for public download and SMC will just be the aggregator. All settlemennts will be real-time. Yes. real-time. No 48-hour waits. {I still can’t understand some of these things! Ati 48 hours!!}

What about those who cant code

Of course, we cant all be coders, can we? If you are one of the millions of people who cant code, or ‘Ulikuwaga mnoma sana kitambo sana maJava na maC++ but umesahau’, then we also have good news for you. You will be able to open an online shop running off the ZungukaPay gateway and you will be able to monetize your content, time and skills.

We have one mission in mind

To enable ANYONE be able to monetize their content and abilities. To enable that sculptor from Machakos to be able to sell his curios online DIRECTLY to the buyer and realize maximum profits. Not via a proxy, getting short-changed. To enable that guy in Stall 25 Imenti house be able to sell his pirated DVDs online and get real-time payment.

As a user, your money will always be floating around Mpesa/Zap/PayPal/GC/WP… So far, no bank is willing to work with us because we are too small a company, but I am sure someone sane will soon wake up and smell the digital coffee.

Errr… Back to code.

Last Friday, after all the Females I had poked and in-boxed snubbed going out with me because I always focus more on the Pool Table than the Female I am with while clubbing, I decided to Call Teddy so that we can go to Westlands at Qz and shoot some Pool. Gz up, hoz down and we both pitiad by Nandos/Galittos and stuffed ourselves with Chicken Thighs. Who said money cant buy thighs?

And so Westlands it was. I met with my old Campus Friend, Marto, (yes, I went to campus. UoN for 2 and 1/2 years. Ask Sebi and Knoxx. But I dropped out.) and he told me about this new mobile website he had just finished after being inspired by my post on how 10 serious Kenyans will be Millionaires before October . He decided to focus on item 8.

So he needed my help on how to monetize the idea and also how to secure the site from hackers. We met later the next day and for 5% shares agreement, I gladly did this.

Step in LaidInKenya (LiK)

LaidInKenya is a Kenyan’s dream. An East African’s dream. Actually, an African’s dream! LiK is an adult personals website with one mission:

To help anyone and everyone get laid by aggregating an e-pool of layers and layees. Be your orientation Straight or Gay, Normal sex or mtandikano, Kakyabali or just oral, you will find at least 10 people to fulfill your fantasy.

LaidInKenya has the following offerings:

• Age Check – No one under 18 is allowed. Someni Viijana.
• Lay-Mates - Everyone will have a personal to-do list (no pun intended) and she/he can always add, delete people from it. This is a personal private list. Not a public facebookesque friends list. Chako ni chako.
• Inbox Messaging – With the Inbox and emoticons like Spank, Kiss, Nugde and Flirt, you will not be short of ways of expressing yourself on LiK.
• Trial-Period – On registration, as soon as you fill in your profile and upload an avatar, you will have 7 days of FULL site use to enjoy all the offerings before having to pay membership fees.
• Registration and Confirmation – There is a registration and confirmation algorithm that makes sure the registered users are unique and real. You are assured that ALL members there are legit and not jokers.
• Members Only – A membership fee of KSHS 100 per month ama 1000 per year ensures that LiK members are only the serious people you want to associate with.
• Discreet SMS Chat – You will send and receive SMSes between you and your Laymate without ever needing or having to exchange numbers. LiK has a proprietary SMS engine that takes care of all the discreet routing. How cool is that!!?
• Continuous Development – Knowing Marto, he will not settle for what he has. LiK will always continue to evolve. he talked to me about a lot of features he will add in good time. Let us wait and get amazed.

What about the Kids?

To protect the Kids from Indecent exposure, LiK has RTA Meta tags and ALL Search Engines recognize it as an Adult website. Also, LiK has a ‘We ID’ identity and one MUST consent that they are 18+ from the home-page. Talk about an in-your-face disclaimer. That is the meanest and ugliest e-bouncer you can get.

Also, Marto requested I integrated a skeleton version of the ZungukaPay platform and I just activated the ZAP and Mpesa modules for him to be able to receive payments for his site and auto-magically activate user Accounts. Because Age-vetting is done at the Mpesa registration Level, this further proves that our user is of mature age and of a conscientious frame of mind.

Investment Opportunity

Being a very talented developer, but no Daddy’s money and in a country where no banks can lend coders money to pursue their ‘high risk’ ideas, Marto told me to source for an Investor willing to act as a silent partner and can invest a lumpsum of KSHS 2.5 – 5M to be used for advertising. He is offering 10 – 20% lifetime shares for this.

I suggest anyone who has money to spare to invest in this opportunity TODAY!. Trust me, you don’t want to be that guy who will be salivating and kicking himself 8 months down the line saying, ‘Damn! I knew about that offer and could Invest but fear and greed got the better of me!!’

Marto can be reached on : thebed AT laidinkenya . com

Join LiK On Facebook

Only time will tell. 9 More millionaire Slots left. Laleni tu.

Back to Code!

Coditta Continua!

And so it came to pass. Internet on Mobile in Africa, in Kenya, in ZIMMERMAN… is actually a reality. The jokers and Idlers and those whose life is on a mental plateau can now poke on FB at 2 MBPS. These will be the losers of this new digital age. Coders and integrators cant even stand up properly because of the mighty Erections these possibilities bring with them. These will be the WINNERS and MINTERS of this new digital age.

As I take this code-break from my Netbeans 6.8 IDE as I am currently debugging Tubonge Version 1.0 (More about this on an Internet near you soon), I hastily share this as a warning to all businesses, SMEs and Corporates wishing to engage Symbiotic in their mobile applications development.

The writing is on the wall and the coffee is already hot and aromatic. Those who will wake up and smell it, will realize that if whatever you are selling is NOT mobile, then you are not serious and if I ever meet you in town, I will kick you in the nuts if Male or brutally twist your nipples if female.

Symbiotic are SMACK in the middle of all this. They develop content, content discovery tools, monetizers and mobile social experiences.

Just like many start-up IT firms in Kenya, we meet people who suffer from the dreaded ‘Code ni Mkate syndrome’ . This is characteristic of some guys who normally have :

• Stayed outside Kenya for like 2 weeks and think they have travelled and seen it all.
• Did some obscure IT course in 1981. [Possibly in some satanic language like VB or Cobol].
• Possibly have MCSE.
• Own a Pentium 3 at home and a USB 160 GB Hard and. so, they have a data-center.
• Think they are all that in Code and can lecture at Inoorero.

So, Why not Hire Symbiotic?

• Face Value : We have clients ranging from the shop down the street to international tech companies. The size of your business doesn’t matter to us. What does matter is how seriously you take your business. If you don’t value your work enough to have it professionally presented, well, it was nice speaking with you. Because if it goes out with our name, it is going to be our best. We expect the same from our clients. Hatutaki Aibu!
• Copy-Pasters : If you are just looking to copy what your competitor ‘has just done’ so as to do the classic stupid and mee-too-istic Kenyan way of ‘matching them’ and ‘kuwafikia’, then Symbiotic will not work for you. Symbiotic does Innovation and Apps building from A to Z. Not Mimicry.
• Budgets : If you want a fully capable site with social networking, Integration with the ZungukaPay payment gateway, TumaSMS integration and a mobile client to engage your clients candidly, and your development budget is minuscule, Please don’t. We want your work to be done by our dedicated and skilled pool of IT resources. Not outsource it to Kenya Poly! A good budget is essential. Not BIG; Good.
• Scope-Creep : If you are looking for just a simple product to do step A, then ‘tutaona hizo features zingine baadaye’, then please come back when all the features are decided. We have been if far too many situations where scope is not clear and end up developing a Ferrari on the ToR of a Vitz.
• Value-Add : Many a  times, a client comes to Symbiotic with a RFQ for a product to do A and B, but gets exposed to technical awesomeness and realizes they can achieve more for their business. Open-minded clients work well with Symbiotic. If you have decided what you want and can’t even listen to suggestions, Please click next.
• Dedicated Resource : If your staff is too busy to respond to our emails or phone calls, then we suggest an engagement when they are less busy. Like my big white brother from another mother, Bill Gates, we do business at the speed of thought and canceled meetings and delayed responses don’t help much.
• Client Commitment : If your modus operandi is ‘You start the project then we will discuss finances later’, then we suggest you try hiring Rajamarasapukar Rajdinyar IT Limited from India. We have a very strict Software Development Life Cycle that we adhere to and ‘Client Commitment’ is Item 1c.

So, there you have it!

Symbiotic does not discriminate on tribe, race, pocket-size or country. We just hate mediocrity and time wasters.

Well, on march 11, I had the privilege and the pleasure of meeting the creme-de-la-creme of Kenya’s Mobile Industry. The MoMo Kenyan chapter if official BABY! SHe is alive and kicking in Kenya.

The list is endless, but top of my mind was Paul Kukubo, Mark Kaigwa, Pratik, Forrest, Aly Khan Satchu, Kaburo, Lewela, Ronald Meru, Timo, Leon Asoyo Oywero, Kemibaro, Erik Hersman, Caroline Juma, Norman Gombe, Oscar from Zain… Just to mention whose who smiled at me, shook my hand and spent some seconds to talk to me with either advice or questions.

Slowly, Idd Salim is becoming a celeb. Hehehehehehaters. Relaxini bana. Cant a brother get some recognition?

Hersmann stated that the world is waiting for the Kenya’s version of FacebookMobile, but with focus on Local content and trends. I told him about our Zunguka Mobile site and he was pleasantly surprised. I smiled thinking, “A black Facebook on steroids. If only Symbiotic had 1/6473868 of the development investment/budget of Facebook. But no one believes in Kenya. We have to fend for ourselves!! Innovative Geniuses doing hand-to-mouth programming with emphasis on code-for-food-and-rent.”

Mark as always was happy and enthusiastic about our products like Sembuse and TumaSMS and hoped that GotIssuez could do a collabo with Symbiotic. I asked only one Question? ‘Why not?’. There is alot of content repetition in Kenya. What we need is content aggregation. Nipe nikupe. As in, Symbiotic.

Moses Kemibaro, the man whose mind is not narrow and got words like the mighty sparrow was next. “Salim, congrats bana. Your website was ‘Kenyas Blog of the week’ in the Business Daily”. I had no idea! Thanks BDA. BDA march 11, page 17. Moses then Introduced me to the great Aly. Well, the Kenyan Version.

I was most likely speaking from a whole meter below the Tall Aly. I think he was standing on his Wallet. Nevertheless,  I am sure he got me verbatim when I Explained how he could use the Sembuse platform to monetize his NSE Stocks Data on rich.co.ke and rake millions. Make the data go to the people, not make people come to your website for data. He was all smiles. Watch this space.

Ronald of Adtel and Norman of IMS told me sweet things I like hearing about some things we call USSD, MONEY and CHAPAA.

And then came a God-sent moment. No, not me finally speaking to a Female. I was doing dudes all night jana. I met this guy whose jobbo is to get poor and orphaned kids from slums and teach them photo-shop, web design etc, and then empower them to be self-reliant with web jobs. I told him about Symbiotic being a Company formed by Old Boys from Starehe, understand sponsorship and charity to the letter.

We are pamojaz with him and we got no Issuez with helping. I also suggested he talks to MobilePlanet. What I hear is that Safaricom has given ONLY mobile planet access to USSD and locked out all the other developers and PRSPS and these kids could really benefit from knowledge of USSD coding. maybe at last in Kenya, we can see more innovative solutions on USSD rather than wait for a Semeni every 3 years. [Btw, i have no beef with Semeni and I believe it is a great solution. It is actually named after Semenya, a real champion of the people. But come on, this is Kenya. We have the best coders and thinkers on earth. Am sure we can do better if these APIs are opened.]. Or maybe my Informer meant Safaricon, and I heard Safaricom. I stand corrected.

Speaking of our Beloved Saf, I did not meet anyone from Safaricom at MoMo. Either they were not there, ama maybe tu ni network haikuwa.

Oscar, Bi Juma and the rest of the esteemed Salim-meeters were all positive and I am sure all this will come to a good end. Or is it a start?

Only time will tell.

Err, Code time it is.