Thus Spaketh Idd Salim

Bend Over, daggering

Raila once quoted me and said, “Wameona Simba amenyeshewa na ametulia, wakadhani ni paka mkubwa”.

The sad Google swahili translator processes this as: “The see lion in rain. He has relax. They think big pussy”

Well, thanks to Mblayo, I got this disturbing video of the Zain truck:

BendOver jibe at Safaricom HQ

The Zain Marketers (who safcom’s has ruthlessly out-performed, out-thought, out-conned us and out-sold  for over 8 years now), came up with what they thought is a daggering blow at SafCom.

They hired PA System and went to blast the ‘Bend Over’ song at Safcom HQ.

Dunno if the traffic police, Nema, the ZainWanaringasasa crew and the ThisWeekSijaona conglomerate will take this lightly. I, for one, know Mwai is devastated by this.

But wait! For the life in me, I would assume for a moment Zain would show some class and focus on the areas where SafCon makes them bend-over, daggering style, e.g:

• Social Networking
• 3G or 4G Data
• Zap vs Mpesa
• International Call rates
• Data Rates

Just a thought.

Now, lemmi make some windows servers bend over.

Have a bendy night, wont you?

Wazi.

It is sad. Honestly, really sad.

I sat with Buju the other day and he asked me : “Salim. Wewe huwezi unda your own Facebook na venye code unaimesea?”. My response is the same respose I once gave DjCK, Okech and Sebi. “Put me in a position that I won’t have to worry about rent for 6 months, and I will give you the world.”

So, the discussion went on. I pointed out that ANYTHING Safaricom touches, turns to a pile of shiite. Mxit has MILLIONS of people all over the world. Safaricom brought it to Kenya, did over 100 pages of color ads, and it died, as expected. Meanwhile, 2Go is keeping Kenyans teens awake till 3am.

Next up, Facebook. In this encouraging post about the opportunities for Kenyan Coders, I did on March 9 2010, Facebook had 580, 000 Kenyans. On its own. No advertising, just viral value additions. Then Safaricom started doing their Ads and USSD codes + TV ads using that smigo-faced ugly rasta jamaa. 5 Months later today, the site has 776, 920 users. Pathetic, if you ask me. Facebook has Stagnated, As soon as SafCom stepped in.

They say EVERYONE IS ON FACEBOOK… Well, we must be the smallest country in the world.

Facebook has STAGNATED since Safaricom touched her

“So”, Buju continued. “Now that ONLY 19.43% of the Kenyans with the Internet are on FB, and the growth is stagnating., what can developers do to harness the massive 81% that is NOT on Facebook?”. I smiled.

“And what is this other system you are saying that is being tested now and will come to really shock Mpesa?”, He asked. I smiled more.

Back to code!

Wazi.

Hello, we are Google! Who are you?

Well, blame my exclusive ownage of the words ‘idd salim‘ on google, my rich CV and list of systems done and out there, or just plainly the references I have, but a week after my 28th Birthday, google came calling…

Their main point of reference was my Xing Profile.

Alot of my facebook, gmail, symbiotic, redtape, Qz and PLG buddies have requested me to blog about the google Interview process. What they require. How to prepare.. yaddayadda.

I could not refuse. Who am I to refuse?

Their initial point of contact was an email below:

Hi Idd,

SRE are an elite group of circa 350 engineers in Google. This is obviously a very small group of the overall organization.
Technically this team consists of both Systems Admins and Software Developers.

Sys Admins are expert Linux admins with kernel level hacking experience. They also tend to have exceptional scripting experience and some networking knowledge. Developer tend to come from a C++, Python, C or Java background with exceptional Design and algorithms and data structures experience.

The team has a large number of industry leaders and industry technical pioneers especially in the area of Linux and Python.

SRE work on all of the major internal and external Google systems. Gmail, Search, Maps, Earth etc etc
They are responsible for the Scalability, Reliability and Efficiency of all of the systems from both a software and hardware perspective.
This is not an operations team (we have one of them!) but rather an internal consultancy type group.

The job specs are below:

http://www.google.ie/intl/en/jobs/dublin/swe/software-engineer-google-com-eu-headquarters/index.html

http://www.google.ie/intl/en/jobs/dublin/engops/opsit/unix-system-applications-administrator-google-com-eu-headquarters/index.html

We have these roles available in Dublin, London, Zurich, US and Sydney.

If you are interested, send me back your updated CV and we can arrange a time to discuss

Kind Regards,

I sent them my CV and then Google sent me a self-evaluation test:

Hi Idd,

Thanks for your reply and the updated Resume.

Can you complete the skills assessment below as accurately as possible and return it to me.

Self Evaluation Guide:

10          = you literally have written a book
7,8,9      = expert, go-to person on this technology
5,6         = solid daily working knowledge. Highly proficient.
3,4         = comfortable working with this, have to check manual on
some things.
1, 2        = have worked with it previously but either not much, or rusty
—————————————————————————

TCP/IP  Networking (OSI stack, DNS, etc.)(  )
Unix/Linux System Administration tasks(  )
Unix/Linux internals(  )
Algorithms & Data Structures(  )
SQL and / or Database administration(  )
C(  )
C++(  )
Java(  )
Perl(  )
Shell Scripting (sh, bash, ksk, csh)(  )
Python(  )

Whats days and times this week would be suitable for us to discuss.
I would like to call you and discuss your Resume, give you more information regarding the roles that we have available and also ask you a number of technical questions.

Kind Regards,

I responded as honestly as I could. We set a date to a week later via email for a phone interview. So I spent a week brushing up on my skills on things like as Trees, Calculus I and II, Algebra V, Discreet maths, Big-O, Data Structures, Algorithms and the full unoma shebang.

And so, the big day came. Google was to call at 5pm. I was the young Salim again. I now could speak-out the code to do a heap-sort, merge-sort, Dijkstra’s Algorithm, TSP, Graphs etc, in C and Java.

At 5:07pm. Google Calls. The callers accent was somewhat faster than I could decipher, but after a verbal interview on what languages I know, about systems and databases, started.  The following some of the few questions I can remember:

1. How many bytes are there in a MAC Address?
2. Explain the 3 way HTTP TCP handshake.
3. Explain, in detail, the sticky bit flag on Unix directories.

Not surprisingly, this is all I can remember as I blog this. As I give them space to get back to me (not holding my breath of-course), the hassle continues.

Benefits from this exercise

After the Google contact forced be to revisit things that I had completely ignored or postponed like the books of Knuth, the Dijkstra’s algorithm, B+Trees… It made me a better optimizer. I now look at my YU and Orange projects with optimism as the systems will perform better. Ramadhan period locks me indoors and I can only improve.

Google job or no Google job, I am now a better coder, thanks to the contact.

Wazi, back to Dijkstra!

2Go is Good 2Go

Well, let me just say, Chema Chajiuza, kibaya chajitembeza. It is rare I blog about a non-Kenyan product of any stature, but Good code is Good code. Give credit where it’s due. I am not an Anti-Mxit person as I admire anything Java, but The fact that Even After about 100 pages of Full-page Ads in Kenya it never really picked up, I knew there was some issue with it.

And so, I got a comment on this post about mXit and, as usual, I took it as spam and with a pinch of Zulu salt. The I decided to Install 2Go and give the biatch a test-run. I never looked back! Once you go 2Go, you never go back!

2Go at a glance

Well, you can read all about it here, on 2Go’s official website.

The post-Facebook Era

Facebook ‘Mobile App’ (read – Mobile widget – ok.. or APP for people who consider kindergarten quick-hack wizard-generated hello-world apps like AfroHotOrNot or Wazzup! Apps REAL apps) has received  75,792,183 downloads as at this second. This means 75,792,183 Java users went there all expectant and got egg-faced. Facebook has NO J2ME app. Just a Bookmarklet.

Step in 2Go!!

The most interesting thing about 2Go is the ability to contact ALL your 2Go, mXit and Facebook users from one Small, Sexy, Fast App. The data compression they use is out of this world. I would give my left nut just to see tail -f of the 2Go server logs.  Must be orgasmic. This Agnostic model is one of the real killer features in 2Go.

If 2Go was a Female App, she would already be pregnant with my twins.

I am building a Stock Exchange Social Network for the NSE. You can guess whose Model I will adapt, but I ain’t giving out any prizes.

I would not mind consulting to handle a local deployment of 2Go for Kenyan users. Also, 2Go would really benefit from the Pay.Zunguka Mobile payments solutions, to essentially go where Mxit did not in terms of virtual currency.