Thus Spaketh Idd Salim

Just bubbling with brilliant Ideas

Well, it is 4:35am and I am at iHub coding the final Java classes of ProjectX4 while some  C++ guys debug a system to help the visually impaired use laptops more comfortably.

Just like the hundreds of Kenyans I meet everyday inundating their blogs with copy-pasted content from all over the net (as if we don’t know how to google), I feel inventive.

I have ideas that ‘no one else has thought of’ and that are ‘going to make me millions’, then ‘finally enable me to buy my Range and bench my identical-twin-sisters neighbors.’

I was reading David Thorne’s blog and his sarcastic view of all these wanna-be inventors and tech-prenuers really cracked me up!

Please guys, there are MY ideas!!  I am sharing FREELY bit I beg you not to steal them. Otherwise I will lock myself in my room and cry.

sijaogathisweek.co.ke

A website for people who fear water and don’t shower. (At Stach, we used to call them Sodiums). Here, these Sodiz will login and say that they have showered. Then another user will need to respond and say ‘You have not showered’. This will generate MASSIVE traffic and hits and advertisement revenue will be realized.

imagineihavejustwokenup.co.ke

A website for people to log in after they wake up. Since everyone sleeps, then this website will surely attract everyone alive. A sure winner! I am already wet with the prospects of this site. My God, I am clever!

nanyeshathisweek.co.ke

This will be the favorite website for Kenyan guys. Guys will log in here to see which chics are rolling, then lenga them for that week and focus on other to-do chics. Companies selling male products can advertise here and I am sure I will soon be rolling in dosh.

sitakijokesmzeeiya.co.ke

This will be a great and innovative site for people who are taking year 2011 seriously. Upload your face on the homepage for KSHS 1000 a week and all your friends will know you are serious.

chekiarmpityangu.co.ke

Here, people will upload air-brushed images of their armpits and the person with the hairiest armpit will get 1000 Bonga Points and 15 Free SMSes. This will be bigger than Zawadi 2929. Since Kenyans love FREE stuff, people will sign-up. We can use these images later to create an armpit-hair montage of Kenya.

nangojanganyaikamu.co.ke

While you stand at the stage for hours ignoring the ong’otees and waiting for a Nganya, login to this site and be the first person to type : ‘Nangoja nganya badala ka kusave time for better things ni-buy ndai yangu’ will own the website for a week and put any content they want. Including their Facebook profiles.

mademniwaseefakesana.co.ke

Yep! Saved the best for last. This is patented. The baddest!  MNWSF will be a site for single, unkempt and obnoxious guys to login every morning and complain about how girls ‘feel hot’ and are possibly lesbians because they don’t fall for their vibe. Girls will then login via Mobile Web and say, ‘no we are not’. Then the guys will respond via SMS and say ‘Yes you are’. etc. And this = Traffic!

I am sure Google and Microsoft will be falling all over themselves to invest and buy at least 4 of these off.

I feel so good. I am bubbling with ideas.

Back to code…

Wazi.