A geek’s analysis of the #Nicole #Muturi BootyCall
Audio - But from where?
4 minutes, 35 seconds, 1 phone call, 3 possible sources.
Well, I was saddened to hear that gutter-press radio-station Classic FM really milked the whole sexually explicit audio and playing it on LIVE radio, in the MORNING. Just for Kicks.
Pathetic. Really.
Minor KaGayni (maybe just to confuse his enemies) was all over the clip. So I hear. Talking about a man having sex with a woman. As if he know anything about that. I might as well start talking about Budhism. Again, So I hear. I never listen to classic FM. Mainly because I don’t subscribe to content from people with an IQ of a shoe, and so, that is all I will say about classic FM.
The question the few Kenyans with a brain are asking is this. “Hiyo simu waliiskiza aje?”. The question the few coders/security analysts are asking is this. “Have phone-call interception equipment finally come to Kenya? Do we, FINALLY, have hackers who can do what Salim has been talking about, akatukanwa? Are our worst fears finally here? Should we be worried?”. So, I decided to demystify the source of the clip.
I remember in 2009, I was in a relationship with an insecure, controlling and hyper-jealous person. She had an employee at a local telco (no names mentioning, activating PussyMode…) on a ‘payroll’ and the employee would giver her a list of ALL SMSes and PhoneCalls that I had made everyday. All SMSes in a PDF and all calls in MP3. It is government policy that all Telcos MUST keep records of all phone-calls and SMSes for at least 6 months. If not stored properly and restricted (like the case is, sadly) it only costs KSHS 2k to get the data.
I tried looking at the Audio file in MP3 using Nyquist-Shannon sampling theorem and other audio analysis models and the results were outstanding. The recording came out as a perfectly flowing person-to-person convo. The convo took place and could not have been cooked. And so, I came up with these scenarios.
1 – A telco employee did it
As stated above, it is POSSIBLE and IT HAPPENS that phone call and SMS records can be sold. The question becomes, how comes it was ONLY this call that got out. How idle would a telco employee be, to sift through ALL the GBs of data to get this ONE call? Still, idlers exist. And there is something called luck.
2 – Muturi did it
Using a Smart or Smart-Enuff phone, one can record a phone call. Muturi might have recorded the call (knowingly or just automatically), found it funny as f*u*ck, and decided to share. Nicole would not have shared this. Stupid female pride would not have let her. Muturi would. Stupid male ego would not let him not share. “Muone vile madem hunikufia”.
3 – It was a studio-born viral prank call
High probability too. A ‘real’ phone call can be, unfortunately, manufactured. At the last few seconds of the call, we hear the credit/airtime beep. If a studio call, then this is a specially crafted section to add to LEGITIMACY. Stupid Kenyans must have been heard saying: “Si hata uliskia credit ikikatika. Ni ya ukweli.” How would someone willing to pay a cab and pika nyama not have more than KSHS 16.8 of credit?
Back to code!
Wazi.
