Thus Spaketh Idd Salim

All hail the master coder!!

Oh, pulchritude! Oh, pulchritude! Ohh, how thou possesseth nothing more that just sheer cutaneous profundity.

Ohh, how thy perception and effect withers when the rubber meets the road.

Ok. Ok. Sawa. Ehh! sitatumia ‘Oh’ ingine basi.

Naweza fanya maboyz fulani waanze kufikiria sabuni na kufeel homesick.

Tena naweza tumia another brobdingnagian word ilete noma. Ohh, anajiringa juu alienda stach. Ohh, anathani hatujui kutumia Google. Ohh, anajifanya anajua ngoso na ni ‘bhaite murume’. Fragile egos. Wakenya. So, acha hiyo stori iishie hapo.

As you know by now, sipendi ku-beat around the bushes. Mii huingiza tu mara once! I go in deep. I go blunt. Original content. Mkitaka kujua juu ya Facebook IPO na the Google Olga ‘Firing’, mtanunua gazeti. You did not come here to read duplicated content. That is for half-brains. So, acha leu tudiscuss minyoo, panya na maguru.

The story of the worm

We all know the story of the early bird and the worm. All factors remaining constant, the early bird catches the worm. But with all the real-world factors factored in, the early bird can only, realistically, catch the early worm. If the worm went out last night and over-sleeps, the early bird will have nothing to catch.

Hold that thought

The story of the 3 mice

The mice came up with a better story. The second mouse, that arrives late compared to the first one, is the one that gets the cheese. This is because the first mouse gets caught by the trap. And dies. Engaging the trap, and leaving the cheese lying there for a swift second mouse to cash in. But then comes a third mouse. Who waits for the greedy second mouse to get the small cheese and run with the feeling of VICTORY.

The third mouse analyzes the trap area and the store, then discovers where the small cheese was cut from. Then takes the entire loot home. Gets laid by the finest mice and praised by it’s mice peers. And lives happily and in abundance thereafter.

The Rich Coder

The fables continue. Enter the rich coder. Still a fallacy in Kenya. We are still yet to see a success story.

I am not talking of coders hired by organizations with funding to write code and get well paid. No. This is not the ultimate coder model. I am not talking about the ‘I work at Safaricom’ ama ‘I work for the UN’ type of coders. Not at all. Na nisiambiwe nimetukanana.

I am talking about the real self-made millionaires. I am talking about the One laptop, one idea, one team, one million dollars type of stories. This title is still vacant. This post is still un-taken.

Then comes the self-defensive: “What difference does it make HOW you get the scrilla, as long as you have the scrilla?”. You see, that is the type of reasoning that keeps many of us from becoming our own master. Systems have a shelf-life. A system that was THE SHIITTE in 2008 is just a good thing to look back to in 2012. The question becomes, what have you DONE OF LATE.

And that is where the pride of a coder and the opportunity to be super-paid comes in. That is how people remain relevant to the industry. Bettering yourself. Daily. Looking at the YOU of yesterday and saying: “That fool could not code.”

There is not a single Mobile App in Kenya that has been monitized. Is yours gonna be the one? If so, will it be the early bird, the second mouse, or the third? There isn’t a single IT Company that has done an IPO in Kenya (achana na ma-ISP kama AK nini nini. I am talking REAL IT), will you be the first one?

Tafakari hayo.

Back to code.

Wazi.