Konza City this, Konza City that

Feb 24, 2012 19 Comments by

Utadhani City ni code

Ok. Nimerudi sasa.

Sam ameandika blog post moja professional sana about Startup Weekend at the NaiLab. Obvious mlijua si Salim ameandika hiyo. Coz that ngoso joo!! Sijuagi ngoso. Na sijaligi. Sijui grammar, diction ama kama nitajamisha msee.

Ukijam, ita karao. Nitamkanja.

Ok. No foreplay today, honey. Straight to Konza. Leo nimewaka kiasi. Na code. Twende kazi.

Konza city is a noble initiative. This  I will not deny. Only a fool would. And there are many fools online nowadays. I pray daily that they don’t breed. When I write about an issue, I give credit where it is due, then write about what I don’t like. I still retain my hard-on even when corrected and I accept if I am ever wrong. As I sometimes am. So nikikosea, nishoo tu “Salim, you were wrong there. It should be ABC, not CBA.”

Locus Standi

Keyword: Technology.

A country of hypocrates, pretenders, wannabes and second-rate realists when it comes to REAL issues.

What is the BEST technology Kenya has produced since 1963? Apart from Bonoko and Ngeta-echnology? Okoa Jahazi? NO! This was copied. Zap/Mpesa? No. These were copied (ofcourse, executed to the best result, not model, in Kenya.). Maybe Pearl Omega. But does Obel get any support, recognition or funding to continue with his Kenyan version of ‘Umlingo WamaNgcolosi‘, Hell NO!! Maybe a super-awesome car-control-system via SMS. But does Mbetsa get the right guidance and support? Hell NO!!

And that’s whats up. We kill and hide our geniuses while we get all wet when talking about foreign systems. Aki nimeanza kujam. Fuck!

Kenya is slowly becoming Arsenal. Fighting to build BIG stadiums but never invest in producing the best players of the game. And then you wonder why they call you bitch. You biatch!! End result, half-brain professionals inundated in hubris and half-baked coders who think ‘ps -aux | grep idiot’ is a complex linux command.

I will not talk about the Safaricom Cloud here. Saa hii nimejam. Naweza toboa sufuria. I will find avenues to address this. But I am just saddened by what we call innovations. What we call ‘Our own’. How low the tech-scene is in Kenya, while the media keeps making people think we are all that. While there is SO MUCH we can do. We just always seem to focus on the OBVIOUS.

And this is what Konza is. @mbuguanjihia questioned this stance. We have Sameer Business park that has 100% occupancy. Of air and dust. No techies. No one is interested, motivated or given an incentive to go to Sameer, a small business Park, but we want to build a FUCKIN CITY? And we think we can BUILD a TECHNOLOGY CITY. Such hubris. Such belief in our own ability as a country.

Of what purpose? To what end? If Konza City is meant to be a big bar with NyamChom and sluts and faggots filling it, then we have PLENTY of those in Kenya. It will fill in a week. But Technologist? Technologist?  Technologist?  Technologist? Get out of here!

Instead of planting trees and weeding them and watering them daily, we are busy drawing sketches of the Desks and Seats the trees will be cut to build when all grown? How will they grow? End-result, we buy trees from the US and Europe and curse our trees for not growing. What kind of idiotic backward thinking is this?

I will not talk about all these ‘foreigners’ who get funding from their home and become successful here with kindergarten and no-brainer products while our investors and related-bodies watch our geniuses with world-beater systems languish in capital deprivation. And this is the fundamental problem. The Entrepreneur support system. Or lack of one. Until you succeed, you are on your own. Once/if/when you succeed, the newsvan parks outside your home.

Then comes the mentality of coders. I have seen coders graduate from keyboard-to-mouth code-for-food coders to machiatto sipping boisterous and loud talking fuckers just because they got a pay-rise or work at a big telco. Code and the BASICS of being a master coder, a euber-techie have been forgotten. Coding has become like accounting or sales. An end-of-month-justification job.

We don’t have enough supply to handle all the jobs at iHub/NaiLab but we are building a City.

And this is what is going to happen.

Konza will be built. It will be completed. It will be empty for 5 years. All the server rooms will be turned to strip joints. Then the russians will come in. Then the chinese. Tough-breeds. Coders and technologists who take no prisoners. With companies and IPs registered in their mother countries. Fill Konza City. Take over the market. Take all our money.

And we will just stand there with our dicks in our hands saying : “Konza City is in Kenya. It is Kenyan”. But the innovations are not. But the money never ends up here. We are just like madem wa westie. Sitaendelea.

Tafakari hayo.

Back to code.




Coding, Startups

About the author

Coder, hacker, inventor, pool guru.

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