So you think you can tweet – Kenyan edition
Garbage + garbage
This is one of those ‘perspective’ blog posts. And when I write such, I always advice the average ‘fragile ego’ I-am-a-celeb-in-a-certain-village-somewhere-so-dont-play-with-me Kenyans to ward off. Go to TechnoVillage and read about an outsider’s view of iHub.
Or go to xvideos.com. They are hiring people to classify their porn collection.
Oh, you are still reading this. So let’s get down. Or in.
Deep.
Kenya is number 2 in Africa in the number of tweets. Only 2nd from South Africa. YAAAAAY!! We are the best in the third world country. Yess!! We are so intelligent and engaging! Yaaaay!! We are the BEST among the mediocres!! Kenya!! The BBBEEEEST!! Yessss!!
Yeah. Compared to small 5th-world countries like Uganda, Tanzania and Somalia. The big Chinese Peenus comes to mind once again.
When I was learning how to program in the Assembly language (before I paused it to be continued later mfuko ikifura), one of the most memorable sentences was : “People who know very little sound like geniuses to people who know less or nothing; but sound like complete fools to people who know alot.”
So, why is Salim complaining now? Can’t we just be happy that Kenya is finally in the map?
We have fibre. And what have we accomplished since? 1.7 Million facebook users from 700k before the Fibre. Number 2 on twitter from obscurity. What else, let me see, not a fuckin thing.
I would be happy to be number 19 in Africa, with positive tweets about life and money and spiritualism, than number 2 with dementia-inducing tweets by chronic cranial rectitis mindsets. Relax. usijam yet. bado hata sijaanza.
What are the most discussed items in the Kenyan Tweetosphere?
- Whole days contributing to and re-tweeting useless Trending Topics and HashTags [#ujingaNi #alaiScream #ChieftKariukiTweets]
- Retweets of innuendo and please-join-me tweets from faggots by people who pretend to be straight. *just for laughs*. Seems if you just put ‘Oi’, ‘LQTM’, ‘LOL’, ‘SMH’ or ‘ROR’ in any retweets, you validate the garbage it carries. Alot of #KOTS are just Kindergarten faggots. They have just not graduated yet. All the signs are there.
- Sex-sells – That shy girl you see in the office in accounts or IT is the biggest slut in twitter. Talking about her nipples and getting 4000 followers. “I am horny today” – 4,000 retweets and 1000 responses. The dude called ‘DopestChiqa’ from Zimmerman uploads a new naked female photo – 6000 followers! pap!
- TweefWhores – Back to the Fragile egos. Anything and everything is a personal insult. At the slightest provocation, a tweef is born. And guess what the team-retweet comes to life. Especially of it is a man vs a woman or a faggot.
- Ball – Nothing wrong here. Ball lazima. For some people, football is their only solace and source of joy. Man Urinals ikishinda, shida zina-SHUKA.
We should be ashamed of ourselves.
But then again, what can we do? It is a culture. We top in corruption. Crime. Just negativity..
Once again, we are the best in the world. In irrelevant stuff.
Back to code.
Wazi
