Thus Spaketh Idd Salim

Just bubbling with brilliant Ideas

Well, it is 4:35am and I am at iHub coding the final Java classes of ProjectX4 while some  C++ guys debug a system to help the visually impaired use laptops more comfortably.

Just like the hundreds of Kenyans I meet everyday inundating their blogs with copy-pasted content from all over the net (as if we don’t know how to google), I feel inventive.

I have ideas that ‘no one else has thought of’ and that are ‘going to make me millions’, then ‘finally enable me to buy my Range and bench my identical-twin-sisters neighbors.’

I was reading David Thorne’s blog and his sarcastic view of all these wanna-be inventors and tech-prenuers really cracked me up!

Please guys, there are MY ideas!!  I am sharing FREELY bit I beg you not to steal them. Otherwise I will lock myself in my room and cry.

sijaogathisweek.co.ke

A website for people who fear water and don’t shower. (At Stach, we used to call them Sodiums). Here, these Sodiz will login and say that they have showered. Then another user will need to respond and say ‘You have not showered’. This will generate MASSIVE traffic and hits and advertisement revenue will be realized.

imagineihavejustwokenup.co.ke

A website for people to log in after they wake up. Since everyone sleeps, then this website will surely attract everyone alive. A sure winner! I am already wet with the prospects of this site. My God, I am clever!

nanyeshathisweek.co.ke

This will be the favorite website for Kenyan guys. Guys will log in here to see which chics are rolling, then lenga them for that week and focus on other to-do chics. Companies selling male products can advertise here and I am sure I will soon be rolling in dosh.

sitakijokesmzeeiya.co.ke

This will be a great and innovative site for people who are taking year 2011 seriously. Upload your face on the homepage for KSHS 1000 a week and all your friends will know you are serious.

chekiarmpityangu.co.ke

Here, people will upload air-brushed images of their armpits and the person with the hairiest armpit will get 1000 Bonga Points and 15 Free SMSes. This will be bigger than Zawadi 2929. Since Kenyans love FREE stuff, people will sign-up. We can use these images later to create an armpit-hair montage of Kenya.

nangojanganyaikamu.co.ke

While you stand at the stage for hours ignoring the ong’otees and waiting for a Nganya, login to this site and be the first person to type : ‘Nangoja nganya badala ka kusave time for better things ni-buy ndai yangu’ will own the website for a week and put any content they want. Including their Facebook profiles.

mademniwaseefakesana.co.ke

Yep! Saved the best for last. This is patented. The baddest!  MNWSF will be a site for single, unkempt and obnoxious guys to login every morning and complain about how girls ‘feel hot’ and are possibly lesbians because they don’t fall for their vibe. Girls will then login via Mobile Web and say, ‘no we are not’. Then the guys will respond via SMS and say ‘Yes you are’. etc. And this = Traffic!

I am sure Google and Microsoft will be falling all over themselves to invest and buy at least 4 of these off.

I feel so good. I am bubbling with ideas.

Back to code…

Wazi.

On April 1, Only.

Maybe I am right. Maybe I am just plain wrong. But as I ruminate about this conundrum and try to ponder what really annoyed my contact yesterday, it appears to me as a good story to blog about. And thus, shamelessly, here I go.

It is like a disease. As a coder, you always endeavour to give your ALL to your clients. Sadly, most are there to take your ALL and give back their NONE.

I believe we all, as coders, get these types of grossly asinine email (not verbatim, ofcourse):

Dear Salim,

I have this great Idea that will make us millions and millions. I want you to partner with me and  conceptualize, design and develop the system. Then we will sell to everyone and sit pretty. The idea is to do ABC and if time allows, D. Brilliant, isn’t it? I know!! I am good at ideas!

PS: Don’t go and implement this on your own. They are MY ideas! And there are 72 more where those came from. I will make you RICH!

I just need someone on the ground in Kenya and my brilliant ideas will take care of the rest. I am currently abroad.

Back then when I was a hormonal adolescent, I would immediately STOP what I was doing and, with a pulsating erection, jump to this millions-and-millions ship. But, now, I am older, more astute and my balls are rounder. Sadly, people (especially older people or people ‘out there’) STILL expect the same response, even today. GOD! I have lived a lot of people’s dreams.

This happened last night. As I was busy poking around (trust me, not on my body or on Facebook), I received a variant of the above email. Full of ‘I am in the US/Poland/Uk na ninakupa chance’ braggadocio. There is always an assumption that Kenyan coders will just roll over and open their proverbial legs, already wet, at the slightest hint of ‘Kuna Chapaa.’

So I responded, thanking them for the chance and congratulating them on various Masters and PHDs they said they had. Then I made my stance of these types of engagements clear. And this is where I need advice, if I am doing it all wrong.

My, response, not verbatim:

Bwana ICS

Thanks for the email. (and a lot of other niceties).

I am not currently available for partnership ventures, but I am available on a purely consultancy basis. If you need development done, I will gladly source local developers or do it for you.

I also made it clear that if he had NO direct and already secured source of funding for the project, then it will not be something I will want to engage myself or my contacts in. I think I touched a nerve there. His response had that ‘nataka kukusaidia na unaringa’ rhodomontade and utter jactitation. Needless to say, there is only room for one ego in my realestate. Mine.

I am sure there are a lot of ‘HelloWorld’ and ‘Select *’ gurus from Campus who will assist such people develop the products and surely make the millions just waiting. But they are not named ‘Idd Salim’. I think I speak for a lot of coders when I say that we are tired of being taken for granted and being seen as mere means to people’s selfish ends.

I believe there is a very thin line between being DIFFICULT and being everyone’s bitch. Wakisema, unafanya. Ukisema wanajam. The same line that separates rich coders, and poor, slaving and dejected coders. Tafakari hayo.

Back to code.

Wazi

Fortune and luck favors the balled

Warning: This post, as usual, contains unexpurgated use of words starting with B, P, D and F. So if you are the sensitive type, DONT READ. If you read, DONT EMAIL ME complaining ati I am so incorrigible, If you email me DONT EXPECT a response. If you expect a response, don’t send another email CALLING ME A SNOB for not responding to your previous 8 emails. Ahem! #celebPolepole.

Of late, everyone on my twitter feed (@iddsalim) who is related to technology has been touching themselves to a moaning frenzy at the possibilities offered by the year 2011. The techies are coming of age and after downloading a PDF or 2, most tweeps now see themselves are techprenuers. 2011. Yes. No, not simply because of the year, hata 2007 had 365 days and we coders still had unkempt pubic hair back then, but the sheer position we find ourselves in @2011, thanks to the Fibre, Safaricom/Bharti and Code.

Fibre, yes. Code, yes… But did Salim just mention Safaricom in a positive context? Yep! Right before your very eyes, biatch!! You couldn’t even visualize, could you? Contrary to popular belief, I have NO BEEF with Safaricom. Fuck me, I am on 0711! Then again, New year, new outlooks, new bedfellows. I might not be a part of a certain ’40-man team hired to innovate and lookout for new markets and opportunities’ in a certain telco (I wonder what these jamaaz really do since I see nothing being ‘innovated’, but, eeeeh!! Chunga nisiambiwe nimetukanana. Kenyans have such fragile egos.), but I sure know a thing or 2 about opportunities.

So, without beating around anyones bushes, I will skip the foreplay and get straight to malumbano.

The Telco State

Saf is getting LTE soon (4G for the dumbwits normal people). Way more than we need since we don’t even use 30% of the current 3G capacity, but HEY, bigger is better, right? Bharti is also launching 3G soon. Kenya has 6.5 M Internet users. 4M are on Mobile. This means that your app/social engagement just needs to target 2.5% of this to reach Erik Hersman‘s magic number for a successful African Social Engagement (100k unique users).

“We know all that already, Salim”, you quip. “Get to the point, I wanna go back to Facebook!!”. Ok, Pole. I no longer wear tight-around-the-crouch jeans because the possibilities of these always rising numbers just make me hard and always rising. As in Coder M-hard. And here is why. These are some of the unexplored virgin opportunities for Q1, 2011. Just Q1.

• ProjectX4 – The details of this project I have already been commissioned to create will be availed soon. This will change enhance the way breaking news, the stock market data, Banking and Market prices data is presented and accessed. Adding value to investors, pregnant women, cooks and campusers. #EnoughSaidForNow. Wezi wengi. Primary Market is Kenya, ofcourse.
• Fantasy Football League – Why Saf/Bharti? Why? Why don’t we have a Java or MobileWeb based FFL service yet? This area is green and unexplored. The closest to a real mass-market service we have is the Nation’s FFL. Imagine a USSD/Web based FFL system with realtime stats and redundancy. Fiscal/Airtime prizes for weekly winners. A Tip: Make it even more interesting. Screw the EPL and La Liga. Make a FFL only (or primarily) for the KPL. Become patriotic. Milk the ‘Kenya Yameta’ hype. ARPU – KSHS 5.0 per user per week. System Delivery time – 2 weeks. GoldMine.
• MPGs – Yep. It can be done on Africa. In Kenya. In Nairobi. By Kenyan Coders. Multi-Player Games of all sorts. BoardGames, Strategy Games, Social Games. Etc. Make the Matatu ride in the traffic jam more interesting. Choose your own Ocampo 6. Influence where people will go clubbing this Friday. Become an mCeleb. Facebooking bores after 10 mins. We have smartphones. 9 out of every 10 internet-enabled phones in Kenya is a GPRS+ Nokia Phone. Challenge us coders. Give us a chance to fail. We will surprise you.
• Specialists Social Networks – Yep. It is a song now. Only 18% of Kenyans over 18 who CAN BE on Facebook ACTUALLY ARE. It is socially proven that, unless you are looking to get laid or boost your ego, or share your personal problems with people who REALLY DONT CARE, then Facebook is not that appealing. Yes, It helps you meet former schoolmates. But in this business age, someone you have not met for 4 years really CAN’T HELP you. Unless ni mtoto wa sonko. You make new friends; yes 1283 new friends who you will never meet. Ego. Therefore, YES people are hungry for social networks. But NO, Facebook is not the de facto. Think Social networks for Pregnant women (nikonaball.com), for lawyers, for policemen, for weed-smokers or eaters, for wasee wa zimmer (44damu.com). Be unique. Make it niche. Yes, I know there are Facebook groups. But, human groups need a UNIQUE identity. Their own space. Not just another group among millions of groups. Everyone, just like everyone else is unique and special.

The Coders’ State

I was impressed before xMas time when I was called by @lkamau of iHub to come and ‘mentor’ Strathmore students who come to iHub on Satos. There, I met some kids there who were bubbling with enthusiasm. We discussed concepts and some basic code and data logics and from their input, I was impressed. I am confident the next 2 years will bring out very good INDEPENDENT coders from Campuses if the right mentorship strategies are put in place.

Students should learn from REAL-LIFE coders and problems. Not googling for code and changing the ‘title’ and ‘about pages’. The need to understand HOW operating systems and programming languages work. Not learning to solve just a code problem or to finish a project. When I become president, all coders WILL be forced to code offline.

On the other hand, the real coders (and even some programmers) are coming of Age. Java, Python and C++ are the key. Focus there. Achana na VB.

The Fibre State

Need I say more? Cant wait for KSHS 1, 000 per month FAST Internet. But till then, we wait. Ohhh, by the way, Byebye UUNET and AK. Unless Colo fees in Kenya can come down to KSHS 10k per month for 128 Kbps. We will use RackSpace Cloud. KSHS 7, 000 per self-expanding-and-limitlessly-burstable space per month? What a deal! What a package! What power! You can’t just make these thing up! You have heard it here first! All Rackspace, all the time!

Back to code.

Wazi.

Increase your SMS revenue to 155%.

Recently, the revenue share model for SMS services running on short-codes was revised and, as always, it anti-enterprenural.

As hot girls might tell you, I don’t like beating around their bushes and I always dive right to the meat of the moment and this being a weekend post, i will make it straight to the point, like me.

So, I will share model 1 of 3 and hopefully, it will be of use to someone.

The Locus Standi

The current revenue share model for Kenya is like this:

SMS Service on Safaricon

Government – 26% (16% vat + 10% excise),

SAF 50% (of what remains after tax) – if your traffic is less that 1M smses or 40% if it is more.

PRSP 20% (of your 100%, which is 50% of the after-tax value.)

You – A hefty 80%, from which you must the government another 5% with-holding tax.

So for an SMS service charging the client 10 bob per response, The share will be:

Govt : 2.6, Saf : 3.7, PRSP : 0.74, You: 2.96 (less 5% W/h tax : 2.812)

Same applies to other operators, give or take 5% from their share. or yours.

So, for you to make something sensible, e.g. 5 Bob per SMS, you must charge at least 20 bob.

The Solution

When I designed the Easy Hisa System for Standard Investment Bank (SIB) as an adaptation of our Mobile Stock Trading and tracking suite, we decided to try a different revenue model. Today, I will share with you the revenue model, so that you can use it to maximize on SMS revenues.

This model is simple and is applicable to banks, insurance companies, stock brokerage houses, bars and clubs etc. Think outside an in-existent box, and the possibilities are unlimited.

Success Story: How SIB is doing it

SIB Opted for a model that is simplistic and traffic independent. The profits are always HIGH and fixed. Client gets charged normal SMS rates to access the system, e.g. 1 bob for YU and 2 bob for Zain.

At SIB, I have setup a MODEM pool with SIM cards for all operators. All lines are the same e.g. 0711/0751/0734 (900009) and clients just need to SAVE their network number to their SIM as SIB.. or Broker.

Anytime a client needs to check the status of their shares order, balance etc, they just send a normal-rated SMS to SIB on their address book and we receive the SMS, process it and respond. Mara iyoiyo… Cost on their Airtime, 2 bob. Needless to say, SMSes come to the client using out TumaSMS gateway and are masked as the broker sees fit.

Now comes the big question. How does the broker make money?

The clients have been educated to see this as a convenience service and looking at the kawaida cost of going to your broker of KSHS 100+ coz of transport etc and the time wasted because of Jam etc not forgeting akina morio, they gladly pay the 10 bob SIB charges as a service fee for this service.

EasyHisa passes a journal to the internal brokerage system and charges the client’s trading account 10 bob, a revenue stream from which SIB keeps 100% profits. 10 outta 10.

So here, the client pays 12 bob to get information that would have cost them 100 bob. In 5 seconds when it would cost them 1hour+. SIB keeps 100% profit as opposed to 28.2%. Simple, Easy, Neat!

Jidosishe mzee, dont dosisha wadosi.

Back to code.